The 5 REAL Reasons Women Are Turned On By Successful Men

Unleashed desire.

After years of listening to me talking about my own personal experiences, a friend of mine has finally decided to give dating a rich man, specifically because of his success, a shot. This is quite a step, as for a long time she has refused to even consider such a thing.

“Men should be judged on their personality, not their pocket book! Who cares what they do for a living? That is so shallow.” These were some of the common phrases I heard from her, as she went from one low-income, career impaired guy to another.

Following a very harsh breakup with a man who she has more or less financially supported for the past two years, she has changed her tune. She admitted that she has always been attracted to successful men, but she was worried about what that said about her. That it made her a bad person because she would prefer a guy with a fat bank account to someone struggling to take her to the Olive Garden for a monthly date.

I understand the hesitation to admit that. When I was younger I had the same feelings of guilt. But over time, I have realized that they are misplaced.

It Ain’t About The Money

The “women be shopping” trope is one that is thankfully beginning to pass from the modern vernacular. Yet, any time you date a successful man, the accusation of being a gold digger comes sweeping in from all sides.

It’s unfair, in particular because it represents a double standard. Rich or successful women aren’t generally seen as meal tickets for the men who end up on their arm. Instead, people focus on the qualities he must have had to attract her in the first place. Whether you believe in the prominence of gender politics or not, the term “gold digger” does more harm than you may realize.

Believe it or not, it isn’t about the money, not directly. Women from all walks of life, at all levels of success, tend to be drawn to guys with some cash in their pocket. They look for men who have stable jobs, especially when they are in higher positions. But it is what that money represents that is the true appeal.

These are the five real reasons that women are turned on by successful men.

They Exude Power

This is probably the number one reason women are attracted to successful men, and not as attracted to those who have failed to find that same success. Competence is sexy, and a quality that draws people in. It shows their ability to overcome obstacles and work hard to get what they want. It sparks an intense respect among peers, and everyone likes admiration both for themselves, and for their partner.

You also have to consider the evolutionary basis behind such attraction. A successful man is the equivalent of a pack leader. Our animal brains register these leaders as strong, virile mates. We feel protected, and bask in the esteem of their position. Someone lower on the ladder isn’t going to generate nearly the same interest, even if they are on their way up.

Happy couple with glasses of champagne in jacuzzi

Power is a serious aphrodisiac. In fact, it’s the number one reason my friend finally admitted her desire to seek out someone successful, instead of the usual average Joe’s (or under-average Joe in the case of her ex). She wanted a winner for once, someone who had already proved himself capable out in the real world.

It isn’t just the draw of power for its own sake that attracts women. Women who already hold their own want a partner who matches their own success. Can you blame them?

They Don’t Struggle

Let’s face it, nothing is sexy about the everyday grind of real life. But most of us have to suck it up, clawing our way from one day to the next in hopes of one day coming out on top. Most of us never even make it that far, instead barely remaining above water.

Wouldn’t it be nice to be with someone who can eliminate some of that stress? Who can provide a simpler, easier life without the exhausting and endless climb? A successful man has moved beyond many of the mundane worries and pains associated with life’s struggles. Especially the financial ones.

Part of this is stability, and we all want to be stable, don’t we? To be able to pay our bills, save for the future, and yet enjoy ourselves? Success is a solid foundation for living that dream. It is a way to escape the fear of the unknown, and have an idea of the certainty of your future.

Life decisions like marriage and children are so much easier when this element of life is covered.

They Show Responsibility

Nobody wants to be with someone long term who can’t be responsible and make decisions that are good for their lives. To be fair, not everyone who has success is going to have a sense of responsibility. If they did, we wouldn’t see so many fall from wealth to poverty, losing careers and bombing their chances at building themselves back up.

But a man who has been successful has shown at least a propensity for having his priorities straight. For every goober who has thrown away the hard work he has put in to get to where he is, a dozen others have held on to their achievements and continued to add to them.

Just take celebrities, for instance. Sure, you have depressing examples of a total lack of responsibility (and mental stability), like Charlie Sheen, or Mel Gibson. These were successful men who lost it all due to their own intense flaws.

Yet, you have plenty of others who have only gotten better. Think of Ryan Reynolds, who had a series of movies bomb, yet has since pulled himself up to become one of the most fantastically famous and sought after movie stars alive. Or Robert Downey Jr, who fell from grace but had enough responsibility in his actions and own life to make a serious comeback.

It’s no wonder successful men are seen as so sexy.

They Stick With Things Until The End

There is nothing appealing about a guy who doesn’t follow through. Broken promises, a lagging career, an unwillingness to bring you the same satisfaction that you bring him…yeah, not good. Every woman wants a guy who is going to get the job done, whether that is in his professional life, home projects, or in the bedroom.

When a man is successful you can be sure he knows the importance of pushing through to the very end. He doesn’t give up halfway, or do a half-hearted job on any task he has undertaken. He wants to do things right, and he will always be nice and thorough.

Of course, this can also be applied directly to a relationship. For those looking for a casual hookup and a bit of fun, it doesn’t matter if they will work on communication, or think in terms of forever. But when you start looking to settle down, you want it to be with someone who has what it takes to go in for the long haul.

They Know How To Build

I am not talking about a man who knows how to build a fence, or an end table (though maybe your guy can, who knows). I mean someone who can take an idea, and turn it into an empire. Someone who knows how to put in the work to get results, and they will follow through every step of the way until they have their final product.

Any man who has found success in his career, for instance, is a builder. He has taken the first steps in his field, and laid down each brick until he has a towering accomplishment. He knows the value of hard work, and of starting from the bottom to reach the top. He knows how to lay a solid foundation to construct something great and lasting.

If someone is going to put in that much effort within their professional lives, it is usually perceived that they will put in the same amount of effort into every other facet of their life.

Getting Past The Guilt

Why do so many of us feel ashamed of our attraction to these qualities? Why did my friend spend so much time with losers, just because she didn’t want to admit that she found successful men more attractive?

Maybe it’s because of the stigma attached. She feels like she is being shallow, and focusing on something that we have been told again and again doesn’t matter. But it does, and there is no denying that a guy who has his life together is just plain hot.

If you are suffering from your own Successful Man Denial, it is time you let it go. We are attracted to accomplishment, power, and stability. There is nothing wrong with that, so relax and enjoy!

Rich Boyfriend? Impress Him With These Date Ideas!

Couple Having Fun In Swimming Pool

I will never forget the conversation. Sitting in a little restaurant with my best friends, we were discussing a new relationship I was in. My boyfriend of a few weeks was older by about two decades, attractive, thoughtful, and a lot of fun to be around. Oh, and he was. As in richer than anyone I had ever met in person before.

At the time I had never been with someone so overwhelmingly successful. He was all new money and Black Cards. I was a 20-something struggling through university and debt. But we got along great, and I was falling for him hard.

The conversation had turned to an issue I was having. He was so sweet to me, so considerate, and very generous. He was always sending me gifts, planning romantic dates, and had even surprised me with a trip to Europe he wanted me to accompany him on a few months from that day. It showed some serious faith in the lasting nature of our relationship.

My issue was that I felt I had little to offer in return. How could I plan an evening when I had so little money with which to fund it? What could I do that would compare with his surprising me after he knew I’d had a bad day with expensive jewelry and a dinner at a restaurant that cost more to eat at than my monthly car payment?

Unfortunately, my friends were no help. “Who cares?” was the general consensus. To them, not knowing about these kind of relationships, or how to return the generosity of my insanely rich, handsome lover was a good problem to have. Besides, it was just my job to be pretty, right?

If you are reading this, I’m guessing you don’t feel the same way. Which is why I wanted to write this…I want to offer some advice based on my own experiences.

You Aren’t Dating a Rich Man…You Are Dating a Man Who Is Rich

This is the important thing to keep in mind, and something that my friends didn’t understand. You’re not dating a rich man. You are dating a man who happens to be rich. That doesn’t make him any less of a person with needs and the desire to feel appreciated.

So going forward, these tips are not going to be the cheesy type you might have seen in other articles on the topic. I’m not going to suggest you book a midnight magic carpet ride over the mythical city of Valhalla, or something equally ridiculous and unrealistic.

These are date ideas to show any man (including a rich man) that you want and care for him.

Recall Something He Showed Interest In

Couple looking at each other while eating fast food

You are walking down the street and your boyfriend mentions that he has been meaning to try the pastries at a little bakery/cafe you are passing. File that tidbit away. Then the next time you have a morning free together, surprise him by taking him to that cafe. Let him know that you remembered he had said he wanted to try them out.

That is one example of how something as simple as remembering his interest in an otherwise unimportant area can really make him feel special. It is showing him that you listen to what he says.

Try Something New Together

The same old is nice and comfortable, but it gets old quick. Trying something that is new for you both can be a great way of bringing you closer together. It’s also a lot of fun. Of course, it should be something you have both expressed interest in; you don’t want him agreeing only to make you happy.

Have a casual conversation one day, without making any plans, about some things that sound like fun. Gauge his reactions and take his suggestions. Then surprise him by making it happen.

Plan Everything (Within Your Means)

I am working on the assumption that you don’t have the heavy bank account that your beau does. Which means you are more limited in what you can spend. That doesn’t mean you are more limited in what you can do. It is about scaling back the scope, not the intention, or the enjoyment.

Take the upper hand and plan an entire date. It doesn’t have to cost an arm and a leg, or even anything at all. Go to an open gallery day at some local museums. Check out some thespians performing during a walk in the park. Stop at a street vendor for some hot dogs, and talk as you explore the city.

Just the fact that you took the initiative is going to say a lot, even if the price tag is low. If you do want to splurge, take a bit of time to save up and do something really nice for him. He will appreciate the effort it took.

Slum It!

This was always one of my favorite things to do with my rich boyfriend. He never came from a wealthy family, but he was from a very conservative middle class background in average American suburbia. He carried that lifestyle into his college days, and his “wild” stories were never very wild. In fact, he was a sheltered Ivy League boy through and through.

His ex-wife was very uptight, and she had come from a rich family, always demanding (and getting) the finest. So he had never had any experience delving into the side of life that he would consider slumming.

Dating me changed that in a big way. I grew up poor, and I was a struggling student. So on nights that we had free, we would occasionally do things the way I was used to doing them. We would hit up the bars with the cheapest drink deals, eat at the cheapest restaurants, crash parties for free booze and excitement.

He loved it – occasionally – and I loved doing something I knew well that he didn’t. Though it helped that we would go back to his expensive high rise with a large, two person jetted bathtub at the end.

Get Intimate At Home

Beautiful passionate lovers. Love concept.

The fanciest fine dining restaurants in the world can’t compare to the intimacy of a romantic, home cooked meal. Make him your speciality (even if that is macaroni and cheese). Light some candles. Get a cheap table cloth and make sure your roommates are out for the evening. Turn on the most romantic Pandora station you can find, and settle down for some fireworks.

I like to call this the Classier Netflix and Chill. You have a nice dinner, settle down to cuddle with a movie in a much more comfortable space than a cinema, have some laughs and good conversation, make out for awhile. You know the drill.

Then, you can take those fireworks to the bedroom. Hint, hint.

Make The Evening All About Him

One of the perks of having a rich boyfriend is that they tend to enjoy spoiling you. They have the means, and they want to impress and pamper you. There are gifts, good food, good liquor, and a lot of attention. They probably leave plenty of decisions up to you and what you want, like, and wish to do.

Why not turn the tables? Make an evening 100% about his needs and desires. Pick a night and tell him in advance that you want him to think of everything he would like to do that evening. He can pick what/where you eat, where you go, what you do. Even if that is just staying at home in pajamas and turning off your smartphones.

Then later on, make the more intimate parts of the night about him, as well. Fulfil a fantasy, or just slowly pleasure him in any way you know really gets him going. Everyone loves some TLC sometimes.

Spend The Night Like Teens

This is a date idea I suggest to anyone who wants a fun, light hearted night with a tinge of nostalgia. What would have been the ideal date with a boyfriend during your teen years? Recreate it with your current paramour.

For some, this will lead to wilder results than others, but at the very least it will find you at the end of the night making out and heavy petting in the back of the car. I don’t know about you, but that seems like a fun time to me.

Just Be Yourself and Have Fun

Ultimately, what is really going to impress him is you. Your personality, your charm, the way you treat him, the little ways you consistently show your appreciation. It is far more important than any grand gestures that you may be wishing to make.

Take the time to think out your dates. Make them fun, romantic, and passionate. Show him you want him for him, as much as he wants you for you. From there, everything else will fall into place. Don’t waste too much energy worrying that you aren’t spending enough money. You aren’t a gold digger, and guess what? Neither is he.

What Type Of Guy Will You Meet On Dating Sites Aimed At Rich Men?

Young couple enjoying the drive

There is an interesting and unexpected lesson many women learn when they start dating in the world of wealth. Not all rich men are the same, which sounds obvious. But I mean it in a basic, generalized, even stereotypical way. There seems to be different kinds of Rich Man groups that most wealthy gentlemen are going to fall into.

When you join a dating site that is aimed at rich men and women, you won’t notice these groups right away, whichever city you’re in. But as you go on more dates, have more conversations, and get to know the men there, the categories begin to reveal themselves.

By then you could have wasted a lot of time. Online dating is difficult for anyone, and streamlining the process is often your best bet. That fact is just as relevant on dating sites for rich men. It’s best to go into it with your eyes open. You can start immediately looking for someone you are compatible with, instead of wasting too many hours on pointless conversations with guys you won’t like.

So, that leaves the question: what type of rich men can you expect to meet on these websites?

The Big Spender

He has ten different luxury cars and has only driven most of them once. His house is so huge it needs intercoms to communicate. All of his food is imported, even when the same thing can be bought locally, and he doesn’t go to a restaurant unless the meal is going to cost at least $200 per head.

The first time you go on a date, he’s going to come fully loaded with a bouquet of roses so large you won’t know where to put them. On the second, he is going to buy you an extravagant piece of jewelry that costs more than you earned at your first summer job in the entire season you worked there.

This is a man who is used to throwing his money around with little to no regard of cost. He lives big, and probably doesn’t handle his finances at all. He pays someone to do that. His whole life revolves around his wealth, and he loves to show it off.

Unfortunately, these guys tend to run out of funds before too long. They’re unstable, though a lot of fun.

The Kid With The Trust Fund

Sensual couple.

It’s a surprise to come across someone so young on a dating site like this. Most wealthy men on dating websites are older, at least at the point of middle age. But this guy is somewhere in his 20’s, handsome, fit, and full of life. Being around that age yourself, you are excited to message him.

You immediately get the impression of a frat boy. He likes to party, he likes to drink, maybe he likes to use a couple of recreational drugs. He starts asking for pics, especially more risque ones. It’s pretty clear that he’s wanting more of a Friends With Benefits situation, and is happy to have the cash from his parents to lure you in.

That isn’t a bad thing. The Trust Fund Kid can be a ton of fun, especially if you aren’t looking for anything serious just yet.

The Miser

He doesn’t trust anyone with his money, and that includes you. His days are spent living well beyond even your means, and he is sure anyone he dates is going to be a potential gold digger waiting to suck his bank account dry. He will pick you up in a $100,000 car, but take you to the Olive Garden for dinner. While he will pick up the tab, you better at least offer to pay half, or you won’t be getting to date two.

There is an old adage that the way you become rich is by never spending the money you make. He lives by this. Though someone who is responsible with their wealth is great, he takes it to an extreme. He will also make you feel like you are a thief for every bit he spends on you. It can get tedious pretty quickly.

You can usually tell that you are speaking to The Miser in the first conversations on dating sites. He will ask you about how much you make, what you expect, and wriggle in leading questions meant to find out whether you’re after his cash.

The Self Made Millionaire

He opened up a software startup a couple of years ago, then sold it to Adobe for millions. He has become a major success, and all based on his own hard work and innovation. He is an impressive guy: smart, charismatic, and he easily keeps your interest.

The Self Made Millionaire is full of fascinating stories and humorous anecdotes. He has met some of the top people in society within his field, and those related. He once shook hands with Steve Jobs, and he met Mark Zuckerberg at a party. The latter is interested in his new venture, which should prove to be as successful as the last.

This is a man who is always seeking stability. His relationships are going to be long lasting and serious from the start. So be prepared for it to move lightning fast, and to take on the duties of a partner, not just a love interest.

The Businessman

Businessman Walking Towards Corporate Jet

His profile picture is a super professional shot of himself in a suit. Half of his profile is dedicated to explaining where he works, and what he does as the VP of Operations for the East Coast. The rest is a collection of minor hobbies and TV shows he sometimes watches (when he actually has a day off).

This is The Businessman. His every waking moment is dedicated to a career that he has spent the past decade or two building. All of his friends are coworkers, or colleagues from other firms. He will keep his cellphone on during dates, and be apologetic when he inevitably has to take three calls within a single dinner.

Life with this guy will always be this way. He won’t slow down for anyone, or anything. If you don’t mind the late night booty calls, very infrequent vacations, and lots of missed dates, he isn’t a bad choice. But don’t be surprised when you are his second priority.

The Entitled Jackass

His first message to you is demanding to see a picture you take in the moment to ensure your pics on your profile are up to date. He wants your phone number by the second, and if you don’t give it to him, he’s going to be a total jerk to you. This is the kind of guy who thinks asking for nudes is a perfectly acceptable means of getting to know you.

Of everyone on rich men dating websites, The Entitled Jackass is the worst. He is rude, condescending, and thinks he is owed the world (and your body). If you don’t give in to what he wants, you can expect a whole slew of insults about your looks, character, and worth.

The Entitled Jackass is sure to be blocked within a record two messages by almost every woman on the site.

The Sugar Hunter

Not everyone is looking for a girlfriend. Some of the men are looking for a Sugar Baby. They will usually be vague in their profile about this, so you should know how to look for the signs. They are usually specifying the desire for a “fit, young, attractive woman” who would make for “good company”.

When they message you, they are going to address it like a business partnership. Because to them, that is exactly what it is. They will have a list of material goods that will be exchanged for the pleasure of your company.

The Average Joe

He was born and raised in a trailer park in Tennessee. After a lot of bad decisions, he spent time in jail for a DUI, split from his baby mama, and was at a low point in his life. While at the local gas station getting a pack of smokes, he decided to grab a scratch card on the off chance of winning fifty bucks. Instead, he ended up winning a fortune.

This is The Average Joe, the beneficiary of some form of windfall. Maybe it was the scenario above, maybe a wealthy uncle left him a couple million in his will. In any case, he is going to stick out among the crowd by how normal he seems.

If you have a high tolerance for NASCAR and track suits, give him a go.

The Truth About Rich Guys

You may have noticed something about the above list: they don’t seem much different than who you would find on any dating site. That’s because they aren’t. The truth about rich men is that they are just like anyone else, but with more cash to spend.

Just sit back, relax, and see who you get along with.

Tempted Dating And Fine Dining

I am about to share some information with all you members and readers that you may not know. Other than being a Dating Expert, I have often been labeled a Lifestyle Expert. What qualifies me, you ask? I have been known to be a foodie, a bit of a weekend jetsetter and have definitely been wined and dined on many dates. When I was first introduced to, I was excited to see that there was a Fine Dining icon to Tempt with. I mean, I simply love to quote Samantha from Sex and the City when she said, A girls gotta eat! I also believe that a couple who dines and plays together, stays together, so lets examine the delicious details of Tempted Dating And Fine Dining.
I cannot think of a better date than fine dining at some fancy hot spot. Since the days of black and white movies, fine dining dates have been a turn on to me! I love the idea of a man courting a woman by inviting her to dinner, the woman spending time to look and feel sexy and special, then popping open the bottle of Bordeaux or bubbly, while waiting for the filet or Caviar to arrive. Now, maybe I have watched a few too many mobster movies in my time, but when a man likes a woman, he wants to show her off and feed her well. This type of date makes me feel like chivalry is not dead! An evening of fine dining sets the tone that a man wants to spend quality time with a woman, spoiling her palate and making her feel like a princess.
Fine dining can also be incredibly sexy and sensual! The dark, dimly lit or candlelit ambiance can create an air of mystique alone. Add that bottle of Opus One to continue the mood and you might be on your way to a second dessert (LOL)! When experiencing a more abundant or high-end meal, people tend to savor each bite and take more time indulging in their foodand, their dates! This also allows more time for deep conversation and affection. I know I have spent many nights having my heart won over by gentleman and food at my favorites: Mastros Steakhouse, Bouchon, The Belvedere and The Bazaar, to name a few.

I think fine dining Tempt has so many positive purposes! If a guy is visiting Los Angeles on business and simply wants a date to a fabulous work dinner, he has an efficient method for finding that date. He may introduce her to a new world of food and fun. I think this is a wonderful situation, in which she gets a decadent dinner and, if nothing more, they each make a fantastic new friend. However, and as I mentioned earlier, I do believe that A couple who dines and plays together, stays together and this can lead to a long-term connection. A huge part of is Where Temptation and Dating Connect, so if two people have fine dining in common, they have a better chance at connecting and continuing. Plus, I believe that a couple who is not shy about eating a lot together, will not be shy about doing many other things together (LOL)!
– Tempted Dating Expert & Spokesperson, Brooke Lewis

The Tempted Talk – Q&A with Dating Expert Brooke Lewis

Q: Im newly separated and ready to get back out and date. Do you think women will understand that I am not looking for anything serious? – Joseph
A: Joseph, with todays high divorce rate, you are not alone! Like I always say, There is someone or many someones for everyone! I fully encourage you to get back into the dating world. I advise clients in your situation to simply be honest with yourself and others. When choosing online dating, choose a site (like Tempted!) that caters to users in similar places and situations. You do not want to join a dating site that is focused on members seeking a serious commitment or marriage. You will meet some wonderful women, but let them know you are looking for casual dates and fun at this time. No one can fault you for the truth. And, do not make yourself wrong for being where you are. Go enjoy a bunch of sexy women and before you know it, you might be ready for something more!
Q: Brooke, I just turned 40 and I still look pretty good, but I am so afraid men will not want to date me because of my age. Any advice? Stephanie
A: Stephanie, havent you heard that 40 is the new 20? ;) It is all about confidence, Girl! Now, embrace your beauty, both inside and out, and run to your closet, grab the sexiest dress and high heels you own, go get your hair and nails done and hit up the hottest 45-60 year old men to TEMPT ME with a night of fine dining! Take it from me, both personally and professionally, there is nothing better than a wonderful, loving and generous 50 year old man who will adore you. And, just think, you will always be 10 years younger! ;)
Q: I am a 22 year old model in Los Angeles. I am so sick of meeting guys on dating apps who think I am going to sleep with them just because they buy me a drink. I have another model friend who dates wealthy men who take her shopping and on trips and she does sleep with them. Do you think this is wrong? Daphne
A: As a Life and Dating Coach, I have committed to not judging! And, believe me, I am no one to judge. Between my clients, friends and myself, there is nothing I have not heard or experienced. It seems today that most people online and digital dating are becoming intimate with one another quite quickly, especially with the younger generation, like yours. I believe in the old saying, You are the only one who has to sleep on your pillow at night and wake up with yourself in the morning. I say you CHOOSE what works and feels good for you! I do not think there is anything wrong with dating a wealthy man who takes you shopping and the two of you being intimate, as long as you show each other respect. Empower yourself in whatever way makes you happy.
Q: I am a successful entrepreneur who travels for work three weeks out of each month. My commitment to work and travel has ruined several relationships. Do you really believe that is it possible for me to find an ongoing relationship or situation of some kind where the woman can travel with me? Paul
A: Not only do I believe you can find a relationship with a travel companion, but I KNOW you can! I also understand how frustrating it can be to be married to your career, yet still have needs and love in your heart to give to another person. I do not think the traditional online dating route is for you and what you seek. At Tempted, the dating and relationship possibilities are endless! You want to Tempt and reach out to women who have freedom and flexibility! There are members who have just completed college and want to see the world before entering the workforce, members who do not have the financial means to travel, members who are not fulfilled by their work and would love to explore something/somewhere new and members who are divorced, were left with an abundant settlement, do not have to work and have all the time in the world (Naturally, you will want to take care of all travel and living expenses for your other half, while traveling.) So, get comfortable with that Travel icon and if you do not find the One to travel the rest of her days with you so quickly, I bet you will find quite a few passengers who would happily be tempted to travel with you for periods of time, until you do!

The Sex Conundrum: Should You Sleep With a Rich Man On The First Date?

Couple having sex

I read an article earlier today that really got me thinking. In it, the author is speaking about having sex with a rich man on your first date. According to the blog post, under no circumstances should this ever happen.

Having quite a bit of experience in the world of dating wealthy men, I wondered if this was common advice. Does everyone feel that way? A Google search later and I found out that it is a pretty major consensus. Most advice websites on the topic will say that sex on the first date is never a good idea.

Looking a little further, I found out that the same is advised against non-rich men, as well. By the end of my research I felt like I had stepped into a sitcom episode. Oddly, what it reminded me of most was this old episode of the television show Friends.

In the show, Monica is persistently asked out by a man who frequents the diner she works at. After turning him down yet again, he gives her a ten thousand dollar check as a tip, which she assumes is a gag to get her attention. She finds out later that it was actually a real check and the man is a millionaire.

After confronting him, she finally agrees to a single dinner. Chandler, who is effecting the mannerisms of a woman due to a whole other plot point, advises her that she doesn’t have to sleep with him just because he buys her dinner.

I can’t explain what it was about these articles that reminded me so forcefully of that episode. Maybe it was just my recent Netflix binge of the whole series. Or maybe it was the out of date, embarrassing assumptions that were being made by the authors, who I honestly believe were men pretending to be women.

Whatever the case, I began to wonder: even if it is a baseless stigma, is there some truth to it?

The Unfair Stigma

As far as I can see, there are two stigmas that are brought up by this trope, one about the woman and one about the man.

When it comes to the woman, the opinion is obvious. We are all familiar with the term “slut shaming“, and this seems to be a pretty straight forward example of it. In fact, the first post I read said that you won’t be seen as “marriage or relationship material” if you commit the sin of giving in to what you both want and sleeping with him.

As for the way it looks at men, apparently all wealthy gentlemen are really sex crazed cads who are just looking for a pretty body to use for the night. The only cure (presumably) is to deny them this on the first date. I don’t know what the result is supposed to be. Will they decide to marry you on the spot? Is it a magic formula that we just weren’t aware existed, or some kind of Rich Guy Genital Test? Are we fooling them somehow?

From either perspective, it’s pretty insulting for all parties involved. But the main problem is that it assumes sex is some kind of power play between the two, and that rich men have an advantage that can only be overcome by delaying physical gratification.

To give in to baser desires, so the posts claim, would be turning what would have been a beautiful romance into a one night stand.

Just a Fling?

Happy couple sharing moments in bed

The biggest claim I saw on all of the articles was that you have control over whether you are seen as just a fling, or someone who would be good in a long term relationship. It fails to take into account any other aspect of the situation: how you met, what you have in common, the chemistry during the date, what you are both looking for.

It also begs the question of what the date was to begin with. If you go out with a man, rich or not, and sleep together, then he never calls again, he probably wasn’t looking to settle down with you. You can say the same about the opposite gender; if she sleeps with you the first night and then doesn’t seem interested, it is because she was never interested in anything beyond sex to begin with.

Withholding sex to the next date, or the third if you follow by the old convention, isn’t going to change anything.

A lot of the advice on the web comes down to keeping interest alive. This is also a silly notion. How would having sex kill the interest unless it was so ridiculously bad that you can’t stomach the thought of seeing one another again?

Real talk: if you aren’t able to keep the interest going to a second date, the problem isn’t what you did or didn’t do with what you’ve got between your legs.

What Happens When You Put Out Right Away

As mentioned before, I have experience in this area. I’ve had sex with rich men on the first date, as well as poor men. I have also waited until later dates, and in a couple cases weeks or months, to take that step. Just like in any other aspect of romance, it depends on situations and the people involved.

Those men with money I slept with firsthand? Nothing bad happened. I ended up dating all of them for a time, one of which was my longest relationship. They didn’t show any lack of respect for me, and if they had I would have been the one to cut things off. I am a grown woman in control of my body, and they don’t get to dictate how I feel about myself, or what it means when I choose to have sex with anyone.

Man and woman having foreplay in bedroom

Now, I could say the same thing about the poor or average men. I’ve had a couple of bad eggs from all groups, but none of it ever stemmed from when I decided to get intimate with them. Which is what leads me to believe that whoever is giving that advice doesn’t actually have any experience to back it up. But they probably do have a few hangups they should address.

That doesn’t mean that everyone will have the same outcome. Which leads us to…

The Bigger Issue

Some men are jerks. Some are users. Some are manipulators. That’s just the way real life works, you win some and you lose some. If you sleep with a man on the first date there is no guarantee that he won’t judge you for it. His lack of self awareness will keep him from seeing that he did the same thing, but again, some men are jerks.

What you should be focusing on is what you want, why you want it, and who you want it with. Let’s say you go on a date with a handsome, polite, funny, charming man. He takes you out on the town and makes you feel incredible. You both really hit it off, and the tension is building.

He drops you off back at your place and asks if he can come up. What do you do? Whatever you want! Tell him you are tired and will call him tomorrow. Agree and spend the rest of the twilight hours ravaging him. Have a drink and then politely ask him to go. The choice is yours.

The Bottom Line

Rich men aren’t actually that different than any other men. They have money, and so their ability to satisfy certain tastes may be something you aren’t used to. But when it comes to whether or not you have sex with them on your first date, the only variable that matters, is you.

That all being said, I will admit to there being a certain appeal to waiting. It isn’t about maintaining mystery, or making him work for it. Those ideals are so old fashioned that they might as well be a punchline now. The reason is the thrill of anticipation.

If this guy is as much of a catch as he seems to be, given your eagerness to jump into bed, why not draw it out? You both want it, and the more you want it, the better the moment will be when you finally have it. You will be starting your relationship with an explosion of passion, not a quickly smothered flame.

None of that has to anything to do with you, or him, or what cliche standards the world is holding you to. You are simply giving each other the time to get to know one another, and to want that connection even more.

But hey, what do I know? I’m just some girl on the internet. If you get done with your first date and you want to jump his bones, by all means do it. And don’t let some silly “relationship” advice blog written by a guy with a Virgin Whore complex convince you otherwise. Get down with your nasty self, girl!

The Best Cities to Date Millionaires

Happy girl with windy hairs at night lights of Las Vegas

Dating a millionaire can be a tempting thought, but where’s the best place for a single lady to pursue her dreams of finding a millionaire match made in heaven?

While it’s not impossible, you’re not likely to meet a millionaire riding the subway, or at the grocery store. So a change in your routine may be necessary to find Mr. Right. If you always do the same things you’re only going to get the same results. So spice it up and meet the millionaire of your dreams!

If you’re in the mood to tempt a wealthy man, it’s all about location! Millionaires may be jetsetters, but some cities will always have a higher wealth ratio than others.

So, if you’re ready to take the leap into the millionaire dating lifestyle, a trip to one of these cities may be heaven on earth for you.

Don’t worry if your travel budget doesn’t include a trip to these cities. Millionaires are mobile and most are internet savvy too. The internet can be the perfect place to find that tempting date with the millionaire man of your dreams. If you do decide to take your search to the internet, be sure to keep your eyes open for wealthy men who live and date in these cities.

1. New York City, New York

There’s a reason the stock exchange is in the heart of this city. It’s where the wealthy congregate. As one of the financial hubs of the United States, New York is filled with wealthy men who like to spend big. The city also boasts Broadway! If you’re looking to date a millionaire, New York is one of the best places in the world to rub elbows with the wealthy. The city has a healthy nightlife that makes meeting and dating the millionaire of your dreams easier than some of the other cities mentioned.

2. San Francisco, California

Silicon Valley isn’t just a place where brainiacs congregate. It’s the place where millionaires and billionaires are made and live. Its technological wealth is only a side effect of it being one of the richest dating grounds for billionaires. San Francisco has it all, from the wealthy investors, to the brainiacs who have become self-made millionaires. A beautiful woman has a high chance of dating a millionaire in the technological heart of the United States. Wealthy men from the heart of Silicon Valley not only bring money and power to the table, but may be able to tempt you with the latest gadgets.

3. Las Vegas, Nevada

young pretty couple in a casino

The right match might tempt and indulge you to gamble your heart away in Las Vegas. Dating can be a gamble, and Vegas is one of the safest places to wager your bottom line. Sin city is one of the most intoxicating places on Earth, and it’s a tempting place to visit or live, if you want to date a rich man. Casinos, shows, and other industries thrive here, building the bottom line of their investors, but it’s also the vacation and get away spot for millionaires looking to relax and have fun.

If you’re a single lady into risk takers, you might want to say yes if you’re tempted by a rich man who calls this city home.

4. Beverly Hills, California

Just hearing ‘Beverly Hills’ is enough to bring to mind the lifestyle and luxuries of the rich and famous. This American city is home to celebrities and other well-known wealthy men. If you’re a lady looking to live and date in the lap of luxury, turn your eyes to Beverly Hills.

It’s also home to some of the most expensive homes in the country. Almost any single man rich enough to own a home in this high end city is worth a second glance.

5. London, England

If the only thing you find sexier than a rich man is a rich man with a British accent, London, England is where you should be. Some have called London the New York of the British Isles. England itself is full of actors, politicians, and many very wealthy people, many of whom call London their home. If you can look past the somewhat rainy weather, London may be the spot you find your millionaire match.

London also boasts a rich cultural heritage and is a great vacation spot if you have the cash to spend on the trip. Why not let yourself be tempted into a getaway to this historical city and set your sights on more than just Big Ben?

6. Washington D.C.

Being the capital city of the United States, Washington, D.C. boasts more than its fair share of wealthy men. From those who work for the federal government, to business owners and investors, this district really has it all. If you’re a single lady looking to date a rich man with power, Washington, D.C. may be the place to begin your search.

7. Seattle, Washington

Seattle is one of the fastest growing cities in America and is the city that gave the internet business Amazon it’s startup. When a city booms, wealth isn’t far behind. Seattle is a hot bed for self-starters and self-made millionaires. The average single lady may have more luck meeting a millionaire in this city due to it often being forgotten on lists such as this. Seattle may not bring to mind Times Square, or a flashy millionaire casino, but it’s home to millionaires looking for single ladies.

8. Dallas, Texas

Texas tea, ladies? While the state of Texas can boast many millionaires from oil companies and other industries, the city of Dallas is an excellent spot to meet and date a millionaire. The city has a large population and great business opportunities.

If old money pips your interest, Dallas is where you should be. Many of the wealthiest families in Texas got their start generations ago. Old money tired and true is sure to survive for many more generations! That’s good news for single ladies who want to be tempted by a man who calls Dallas home.

9. Paris, France

happy couple having fun over eiffel tower

While every city on this list can boast more than a few millionaires, none of them can boast the global title of the ‘city of love’. If you’re looking for a hopeless romantic that also happens to be a millionaire, Paris is the place to begin your search. A tempting millionaire romance may await you in this beautiful, historical city.

If you’re willing to broaden your search beyond North America and Western Europe, other cities to meet wealthy men would include: Tokyo, Osaka, Sydney, Moscow, Mumbai, Shanghai, Beijing, Sao Paulo, Istanbul and Seoul.

While these cities may not sound as intoxicating as better known locales to some people, they have some of the best economies in the world and have large populations of single wealthy men. Each of these more exotic, wealthy cities also offers a host of new experiences and places to see. If you’re bored of the scene you’re currently in, visiting one of these worldwide cities in search of millionaire dating, may be just the thing you need to spice up your life.

Dating a millionaire from one of these cities may be a cultural challenge, but for the open-minded, adventurous single lady presents opportunities to see and experience parts of the world she’s always wanted to see, or even never knew existed.

Twenty years ago it would have been nearly impossible to meet a millionaire from across the globe, but with today’s technology and the social media, it’s easier than you may think. Which city do you dream of meeting your millionaire match in?

Why Are Rich Men and Beautiful Women a Timeless Match?

Joyful couple at the beach

Wealthy men and beautiful women have always been drawn together, but is it merely temptation and fate? Or is there more to these well-known power couples than meets the eye?

The clues to why wealthy men often date and ultimately marry the most beautiful women may come directly from the practices and lifestyles of our earliest ancestors. Wealth hasn’t always been measured in the all mighty dollar and power hasn’t always been seen in the form of the chair of a C.E.O., but the most powerful men have always drawn the most attention from the opposite sex.

The members of the fairer sex aren’t always as caught up in appearances as their male counterparts. Instead, most ladies are on the lookout for something they consider far more important than a hot body and a handsome face. Most women crave the sense of security a successful and wealthy partner brings to the table. While dating a wealthy man, a woman may find herself free from the little day-to-day worries that the general public is all too familiar with. While today’s women worry about credit card bills and sending their children to a good university, our ancestors faced a much more dangerous threat.

To our early female ancestors, a powerful and wealthy man was a strong hunter and provider. He was the man who brought down the largest prey and could feed and protect her and their children. Before modern medicine and science pregnancy and childbirth were more dangerous than ever. With sore feet and a belly swollen with new life, our female ancestors could have been easy prey. Those that survived were the ones with the strongest men to protect them. Having a powerful man around freed her from those worries and allowed her to focus on her more gatherer oriented tasks of keeping house and raising the couple’s children to assure the bloodlines continued on well after they were gone.

To our male ancestors, and even to the wealthy and powerful men of today, a beautiful woman was, and is, a sign of a healthy child bearer. From curves to symmetry, all the signs of beauty point towards good strong genes. Good genes and the likelihood of being a good mother meant that the bloodline would be carried on. Evolution has hardwired the brains of modern men to be those providers and look for women who are up for the tasks of the gatherer and mother.

Portrait of young beautiful couple in love

Whether or not modern daters realize it, the same rules still apply. While the ideals of power and beauty have changed as we evolved as a species, evolution is still the small voice in the back of our minds.

Modern women say they want a man that is their equal, but what they’re really saying is that they don’t want to date down. They don’t want a man that they have to support or provide for. The dating field for them are men that make at least as much money as they do, but often most women, especially the most beautiful, will date up given the chance.

Why Beautiful Women Date Rich Men:

  • Wealthy partners provide a sense of financial security. This becomes even more important during global economic down times. This gives her the freedom to enjoy life, even in the face of what could have been dark times.
  • Dating and ultimately marrying a rich man provides her with the reassurance that her children will be well provided for, not just in early childhood, but throughout their lives. Statics show that children born to well-off parents are more likely to succeed due to the opportunities money can buy.
  • They like the gifts, but not for the reasons you may think. While modern men may not take out the woolly mammoth or sabretooth tiger, they still enjoy bringing home trophies of their power and wealth to their women. The gift of a diamond necklace or a private island may seem materialist to outsiders, but to those in the relationship it’s just a reminder of the security the man brings to the table.
  • Social power. Women are by nature the more social of the genders. They often take up social and civil rights causes, but not all acts of charity or protest have the same impact. While all acts of good should be recognized, it’s the acts of wealthier, better known women, or at least women with rich and well-known partners that make the most waves that lead to positive change.
  • It’s fun and enjoyable. While this answer may sound the most trivial, it’s played a vital role in human dating and courting. The human brain is hardwired to reward things that feel good and aid in our wellbeing. It’s the reason decadent foods taste so good. It was good nourishment for our ancestors. The same logic can be applied to this style of dating. The sight of a powerful and resource rich partner left our lady ancestors weak in the knees, because catching his eye would aid in her survival and livelihood.

  • Why Rich and Powerful Men Date Beautiful Women:

  • Evolution has hard wired the male brain to look for beauty in every woman he encounters. These subtle clues about health and good genes create a good amount of chemistry with the most beautiful women.
  • To feel the pride of being a successful provider. When a man has reached the top of his career ladder and owns or can buy everything else he desires, life becomes mundane. He’s become a man who can be a successful provider, now he just has to find the perfect woman to provide for. He just wants to be sure that the woman he’s providing for brings her own assets to the table. Throughout history beautiful women have been known to bring a warm touch, not only to home, but to a man’s social standing. Wealthy men with beautiful wives often hold more social standing than their single counterparts.
  • Dating a beautiful partner makes them feel good about themselves. As humans, we’re wired to be aware of how others might perceive us. In the past it’s served to guide us through turbulent times. People have even more respect for a wealthy man who also has a beautiful and adoring partner in his life and on his arm. This reinforces the man’s power and success. Thus, he feels even more confident.
  • They want someone to share their success with. Climbing to the top of any career ladder can be frustrating and lonely, but the rewards are worth it. Many wealthy men see the ability to attract gorgeous women into their lives as one of these rewards.
  • They’re the best at getting what they want and they enjoy a good challenge. Wealthy men haven’t achieved and maintained their wealth and status by sitting back and not taking calculated chances to go for what they want. While they may not know that evolution is driving them towards the most beautiful women, rich men do know want they want. Courting and dating the most beautiful of women serves a challenge that provides a delicious reward that may last a lifetime.
  • The temptation of dating for rich men and beautiful women is a timeless practice for a variety of reasons. Human evolution has hardwired us to crave the experience and the social and intimate pleasures are countless. Though at the heart of the matter, rich men and beautiful women are a timeless match, because it’s proven itself to be a powerful and enjoyable one. Simply put: It’s a dating and relationship style that has stood the test of time.

    Top 10 Most Tempting Ski Resorts in North America

    Couple On Winter Vacation

    Are the winter blues getting you down? What better way to have fun than to be tempted away on a ski trip? If you’re lucky enough to be enticed by the offer of a ski resort getaway, keep in mind that this sort of getaway can easily cost in excess of $1000 per day.

    Even if you’re not the ski bunny type, the most tempting resorts offer beautiful views, lessons, and other much more tempting romantic amenities and couples activities. Just be upfront and honest about your level of ski experience before you hit the slopes. Safety first, ladies! Even on the most tempting of adventures.

    As with every tempted getaway, there are key places you should keep your eye out for. While it’s true every ski destination has something unique to offer, some just have more to offer than others. Below are ten of the most talked about and visited ski destinations in North America.

    1. Squaw Valley, CA

    If staying in familiar territory is important to you, you might be pleasantly surprised to find that one of North America’s best ski resorts can be found in the heart of California. Located near Lake Tahoe, the very tempting Squaw Valley Ski Resort was the home to the 1960 winter Olympics.

    While their rates are competitive, a four day stay for two can cost well over $2,000. Not including travel, food, and other tempting souvenirs and experiences. Under certain conditions (and for a little extra) night skiing is available. Not much is more tempting than going down a beautiful mountain side with the man who tempted you there.

    2. Snowbird, UT

    This getaway is located in the Rocky Mountains not too far from downtown Salt Lake City. Situated in the heart of the Wasatch National Forest, it offers stunning views and a close encounter with nature. This tempting location offers a mix of urban shopping and the beauty of the natural world. If you’re tempted to this year round ski experience, expect to be treated to the best of both.

    Snowbird is also famous for its tempting Cliff Spa. The Cliff Spa promises a wide range of mountain beauty and soul experiences. If you’re tempted to head off to Snowbird for skiing, making sure to check out the Cliff Spa for massage, mountain healing, body wraps, and a full menu of other pleasant delights. A stay here could easily cost more than $1,500 a day, not including traveling or lift expenses.

    3. Whistler Blackcomb, B.C.

    If you’re looking to be tempted to a getaway that offers much more than just hitting the slopes, Whistler Blackcomb might just be the place for you. This year round resort offers snowboarding and biking in addition to skiing. It’s also well known for its very tempting spa and shopping experience. The man who tempts you to this little hideaway in British Columbia is offering the full package.

    It’s hard to say just how much a stay at this tempting little getaway will run, but it won’t be cheap. Adding in the prices of a few hours a day spent at a spa, it could easily run a bill of over $5,000 for a few days.

    4. Jackson Hole, WY

    The Jackson Hole Resort in Wyoming is celebrating its fifth year anniversary, making it a very tempting time to visit.

    If you’re an avid skier, or are looking for a great experience while learning to ski, Jackson Hole is the place you want to be tempted to. It may lack the spas and other specialties some of the other resorts on this list offer, but it offers three to five day classes to help you up your ski game. This is the perfect temptation for the athletic or adventurous lady.

    With the camps costing upwards of $1,500 without lift access, to be tempted here would be an extra special treat.

    5. Revelstoke, B.C.

    Cross-country Skiing.

    Revelstoke Mountain Resort is another tempting ski destination in British Columbia. There isn’t much in the way of shopping, but in addition to the famous slopes, they also offer a fine dining experience. To be tempted being surrounded by a beautiful view and ski amenities, would be a gift that would run the man lucky enough to tempt you there for nearly $1000 a day.

    6. Toas, NM

    Toas Ski Valley, located in New Mexico, is a resort built around a village. To be tempted here is to experience the community atmosphere which hosts several events each ski season. This tempting destination also offers shopping and fine dining as well as boosting the highest ski lift on the North American Continent.

    If someone special wants to tempt you here, you should know the average price for a four-day trip for two is well over $4,000.

    7. Big Sky, MT

    To be tempted away on a ski adventure to Big Sky, Montana, is to be tempted and treated to the whole package. While Big Sky is best known for its slopes and winter sports, there’s also fine dining and some very expensive and luxurious spa treatments nearby.

    Being part of Yellowstone National Park not only offers over 2,000 skiable acres, but also a chance to get in touch with nature, and for the wealthy adventurer (or the tempted adventurer) a chance to explore other parts of the park.

    While it’s hard to know exactly how much he’ll have to spend to tempt you on this dazzling adventure, it’s safe to say it isn’t a cheap date.

    8. Kicking Horse, B.C.

    The tempting destination of the Kicking Horse Resort in British Columbia might not sound like much at first, but this Canadian resort goes above and beyond just hitting the slopes. While the resort itself offers spa treatments and a fine dining experience, the nearby town of Golden, British Columbia, adds to the experience with site seeing and shopping.

    If you’re looking for an opportunity for an unusual, but rewarding experience, you shouldn’t say no to being tempted into a vacation here.

    9. Mount Baker, WA

    This tempting winter vacation destination is located right along the American/Canadian border. Nestled in the Mt. Baker-Snoqualmie National Forest in Washington State, to be tempted here is to see the beauty of the mountains and perhaps be swept off to a romantic dinner at The Raven. Tickets for the exclusive Valentines Day Dinner are already sold out for this year, but other romance can be found there.

    To be tempted to Mt. Baker is to be treated to a gift that could run upwards of $1,500 a day.

    10. Silverton, CO

    At Silverton Mountain Colorado Resort, skiing is for the lady who knows her slopes. This exclusive resort caters to the advanced and expert skier and claims to offer an all thrills and no frills adventure. If you’re an explorer at heart and know your slopes, this could be the perfect ski destination to be tempted to.

    Just because the resort itself doesn’t offer the frills a lady might want, doesn’t mean the town follows suit. Right outside the resort in town you can find some shopping.

    Silverton, might cater to tempting those who know their slopes, but that doesn’t mean they offer a cheap experience. Depending on the package you’re tempted with, the lucky man who tempted you there could be paying a bill of more than $1,200 a day, not including travel expenses.

    If you’re lucky enough to be tempted to one of these fabulous ski destinations, be sure to do your research and dress and pack for the weather.

    15 Tips To Spice Up Your Valentine’s Day

    romantic couple kissing behind red heart

    In the scheme of important dates in relationships, February 14th is a big one. It is a chance to get intimate with the person you are seeing, or just an excuse to find a date and enjoy yourself. Sure, there are cynics out there that deny the holiday as anything more than a crude display of shallow affection. But there is no doubt that it is loaded with connotations that can’t be ignored.

    For those who are in some kind of relationship, there are certain expectations you should meet. A Hallmark card and a stuffed teddy bear just isn’t going to do it. What you need is a bit of spice in your Valentine’s Day.

    Here are some ideas for making that special evening ‘muy caliente’, not the same old, same old.

    1. Finally Live Out That Fantasy

    Has there been something that you’ve wanted to try for a long time? Maybe tonight’s the night to finally give in and explore. Whether it’s something innocent like an activity with your partner, or something kinky and heart pounding, bring it up. Life is too short to live with those fantasies unfulfilled. What better time than on a day dedicated to romantic possibilities?

    2. Get Away To Somewhere New

    I know a couple who go to the same little B&B every Valentine’s Day for two nights, no matter what. They eat at the same restaurant, get the same room, see the same sights, the whole nine yards. And hey, it works for them. But why not change it up by taking a small holiday somewhere completely new? It will be a change of scenery for you both, and being in a new place with new things to see can really bring you two together.

    3. Avoid Cliches

    Chocolates, flowers and jewelry are fine. But they are cliche Valentine’s Day gifts, and so should never be offered on their own. Not if you want to really leave an impression. Giving a box of chocolates? Lay them on the side of a fully drawn bubble bath complete with candles, followed by a long couples massage. Giving a piece of fine jewelry? Send them on a little scavenger hunt to find it. Just try to think outside the box if you’re going with the classics.

    4. Share a Few Hot Memories

    That time you both got caught in the rain and ended up peeling off your wet clothes in front of a roaring fire? When you had an all night session where you did nothing but kiss and touch one another? The crazy sex four times in a row when you first got together? Bring up the memories and discuss what it was like. Use it to fuel the lust that evening, and you will be amazed at how intense things get.

    5. Play Some Games

    This has two meanings. On one hand, we all know the games that are coming to mind right now: the dirty kind. Which could be perfect for your evening, whether it’s something as elaborate as a board game from an adult store, or a bit of Truth or Dare. But don’t underestimate playing something more innocent on your V-Day. One of the best romantic evenings I had on this holiday was with an ex who made an entire scavenger hunt race across the city, ending with a cozy dinner at a tiny hole-in-the-wall restaurant that served my favorite (hard to find) food.

    6. Keep It Light and Fun

    Love girl peeking behind a red balloons

    The above example is how you can keep things light and still have an incredible date. It doesn’t have to be all smouldering intensity. That is perfect for the end of the night, but what about the rest of the day? Go to a cheap arcade and try and beat one another at various video games. Play a round of miniature golf while you sneak booze from a flask. Go to a charity shop and try on strange clothes from forty years ago. Enjoy yourselves!

    7. Recreate a Past Date

    Was there a night that meant a lot to you and your significant other? Maybe it was the first one you ever had, or the first night you were intimate, or the day that “I love you” was said for the first time. Whatever the case, try and recreate it down to the very last possible detail. The nostalgia will really ramp up the level of intimacy, and give the night a truly spectacular feel. Not to mention it will be a new date that becomes especially memorable.

    8. Write a Genuine, Passionate Love Letter

    Forget the scribbled messages in cards that will be discarded by the end of the night. Sit down and pen a heartfelt, handwritten love letter full of passionate love, worshipful prose, and steamy scenarios. Pour every ounce of love, desire, need, and appreciation you have into it. Even if you do nothing else, it will still be a huge hit.

    9. Spend The Day Teasing One Another

    Some of us prefer to keep our Valentine’s Day one of heat and lust, rather than tender romance. If you fall into that category, try an extended day of teasing. Touch and kiss at random moments when you see one another. Send each other dirty photos and messages, and flirty email or private Facebook messages. Keep one another yearning for the night to come. The results will be explosive.

    10. Think Real Surprises

    If you are up for putting in a bit of extra effort for your V-Day, make the surprise a big one. Customize it to what your partner is especially fond of or interested in. Cater to their passions. Do something you know will mean a lot to them, and that they won’t be expecting. Obviously, this could be anything. That’s the point; I don’t want to give specific examples because what makes a surprise special is that it is based entirely around the person it’s for. You will know best what that surprise should be.

    11. Exchange a Sexual Dare

    Back to the naughty side of things, why not get a bit bold? Skip the truth and go right to dare. Exchange one single sexual dare related to your fantasies or fetishes with your partner before V-Day. Give yourselves a bit to prepare – and ramp up the anticipation. Then spend your night fulfilling each other’s dares. It doesn’t even have to be something you have considered doing before. In fact, sometimes the random sexual dares you come up with can be the most exciting. You both may discover a whole new avenue of lust you never knew before. Now that would make for an interesting Valentine’s!

    12. Choose Something To Try The First Time Together

    Romantic couple have dinner  outdoor

    Whether it’s a new restaurant, a new activity, or a new extreme sport, trying it together for the first time is a great way to turn a boring V-Day into an extraordinary one. Sit down and discuss some things you have always wanted to try. Maybe make it an entire day of new experiences, big and small. Last year me and my SO did this ourselves. We chose a hiking trail we had never been on that was supposed to have an amazing view and was open year round. We spent the day on the new trail, then tried a new restaurant that evening. We ended the night with a few new things in the bedroom, if you get my meaning. It made the entire day memorable.

    13. Plan an Extended Evening Of Pleasures

    Everyone has a story of that one time they spent hours in bed with their boyfriend or girlfriend. It’s always spoken about with a kind of longing nostalgia, as though it will never happen again. Maybe you should make it happen!

    14 Embrace Danger For The Night

    I don’t mean literal danger. But the fun kind of danger might be right up your alley. Meet at a bar and pretend to be strangers, or do something scary (but safe) like skydiving. The idea of “danger” is obviously subjective, but it can be a lot of fun to pretend. Obviously I’m not suggesting you really do something dangerous that could put your life at risk, but maybe do something with a hint of it.

    15. Take The Night To Increase Intimacy (For Real)

    When was the last time you and your partner spent an entire night just dedicating yourself to real intimacy? I’m not talking about sex (though that is part of it). I mean prolonged conversations, touching, teasing, enjoying one another’s company. Telling secrets and stories you’ve never told anyone. Getting into one another’s headspace and learning about the other person. True intimacy takes a concentrated effort to achieve, and Valentine’s Day is the perfect day to dedicate yourself to it. You will find that the end result is a night neither of you will ever forget.

    Valentine’s Day is more than just a holiday that the card and chocolate companies made up to get you to open your wallet. It is an opportunity to spice things up with your lover, and there are lots of ways to do it. Make it count!