Coach Jay Raped Me at Nine

I grew up in an upper-middle-class family, and always had tons of friends. I've been in dance since I was 2 and soccer since I was seven, which is where the trouble starts. My first coach for soccer was great, one of my teammates' dad, but when their family moved out of state, and we went without a coach for a while, the parents took turns. Finally, we got a new coach, Coach Jay. I was eight when he became our coach and he was great. He would always take the team to get pizza after a game, and when we won, we would get ice cream for dessert. My parents were going through a divorce at the time, and my younger sister's and I moved in with our mom and because she picked up over-time, I could no longer get to and from practice. Coach Jay offered to take me to and from practice and even began picking me up from school (my sisters were only two at the time and were at the daycare at my mom's work). One day, a few weeks after he bagan driving me around, he told me he would let me sit in the passenger's seat if I promised not to tell my mom. At the time I thought it was cool, but now I can see it was a test to see if I was able to keep secrets or not. From then on, whenever he would drive my team around, I got to sit in the front seat. This made me feel special because I was (and am) a daddy's girl and at the time felt abandoned. A couple weeks later Coach Jay and I were in his old school blue ford pick-up and he was looking (acting) distressed. I asked him what was the mattter and he sid he was in pain. I asked him if there was anything I could do and he said, "would you?" looking at me hopefully. I nodded happily, glad to be of help to someone I looked up to. Then he looked at me sternly and said, "But this has to be a secret from your mom, just like you sitting in the front seat." I agreed. He pulled over at a local park and began to unzip his pants. I started to feel a little uncomfortable, but felt like it was too late to back out. He pulled out his dick and said, "It really, really hurts, I need you to rub it for me." I shyly put his hand on it and did as he instructed. He started moaning and assured me I was doing a good job. Once he ejaculated, he told me that I was the best little girl ever and that I could never tell anyone or he wouldn't be able to coach anymore. I went home feeling dirty, didn't eat and told my mom I didn't feel good.
The next day Coach Jay assured me that while I did a good job the day before, his "johnson" as he called it, hurt again and he asked me if I would fix it. Feeling like I had no other choice, I agreed and he pulled over into the same spot and took it out I put my hand on it and started to rub it again. He told me that, while that felt good, it would be even better if I kissed it, so I did. He then told me to lick it and put as much as it in my mouth as I could. Right before he came, he pushed my head down all the way and I gagged and proceeded to throw up in his car. Coach told me he was really sorry and he couldn't help it because it felt so good, and that I did an even better job. He reminded me of the promise I made not to tell my mom. I guess he could see that I was shooken up because he backed off for a week. Then one day, my mom had to work extra late and he was to stay with me after school. When I came home  I went straight to my room to change, and while I was standing in just my underwear he came in my room and sat down on the bed. I tried to find something to cover myself up with and he said, "No, Poppy, you look beautiful, let me look at you." I stood there awkwardly and embarrassed while he stared at me. He took his "Johnson" out again and asked me to sit on the floor and rub it. While I did, he started to rub my nipples, and asked me if it felt good. I shyly responded yes and my cheeks went flush. He asked me if I wanted to try something that would feel even better, and I said yes, feeling like I had no other option. He told me to pull down my underwear, I did as I was told and he laid me down on the bed and told me to open my legs. He started to rub my clitoris and I started moaning in pleasure. I felt ashamed, but it still felt so good. He then put his mouth down and ate me out. My small body was shaking when I came and I felt embarrassed and dirty. I felt guilty because I knew I shouldn't like it, but I did. Coach told me to get dressed and wash my face, then meet him downstairs. I obeyed and met him downstair a half anf hour before my mom got home. He told me that if I ever told anyone, not only would he not be able to be my coach but he would go to jail and it would be my fault and people would hate me. I started to cry, but he told me I didn't have to worry about that unless I told, and I promised I wouldn't tell. We then sat and watched TV like nothing happened.
The oral molestaion continued for about six moths, until my ninth birthday. He was driving me home from school again and asked me if I wanted a special birthday present, I warily said yes and he called my mom to tell her we would be going to ice cream. I began to call home thinking that it was just ice cream, and on the way home I was so relieved until he pulled over to the one spot in the park. It was dark at this point as it was mid-winter and about 5:30pm. He said now it was time for my real birthday present. I thought I would just have to "play" with him again, but this time he told me it was a new type of play. He laid me down and took all my clothes off. He unzipped his pants, and wasn't wearing underwear. He started eating me out while playing with my nipples and then he stuck a finger in my vagina. It didn't hurt as he had done this before but then he took out a small dildo, which he called my new "toy" and shoved it in me as forcefully as he good four times, making sure to break my hymen. Coach grabbed a papertowel and wiped the blood off me and ate me out again while I cried. By the time I came, it was only slightly sore and then he stuck his dick in me and it hurt so bad. I felt numb, like I couldn't even fight back. It hurt to move my legs and I couldn't do anything but cry. When he was almost there he made me give him head and swallowed. When it was over he kissed me and said "Congratulations, you're a woman now. It might not feel like it, but this will be the most memorable birthday you'll ever have." He then drove me home and I celebrated my birthday with my mom. My dad even came over and I acted like nothing happened.